Valentine? Bah Humbug!
by VisualIDentificationZeta
Summary: Harm/Loren SUMMARY: It's Valentine's day 2000 and Harm's isn't feeling very festive. Who can blame him?


TITLE: Valentine? Bah. Humbug!

AUTHOR: VIDZ

PAIRING: Harm/Loren

TIMELINE: V-day 2000, shortly after Boomerang

DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc of the TV show JAG are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this fic. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: believe it or not, but this fic was started 2 or 3 years ago... Yup, that's how lazy I can be and how badly a writer's block can hinder me. The ending is more or less abrupt, but I wanted it to be short enough to have only 1 chapter so I could post it whole in one go. Please keep in mind that much of this fic was written long ago when my style of writing was different and, dare I say, less sophisticated. :p Therefore the flavor of this fic might be a little mixed and can throw you off-balance, but since the core of it is solid (and I'm too lazy) I refrained from rewriting it, instead I just wrote what was needed for the fic to be finished.

You're getting this fic only because I've decided as far back as a few months to finally have this thing ready by this Valentine's. But since the 14th fell on a Sunday and I don't post on Sundays, you're getting it on a Monday. Hope that still works for you.

SUMMARY: It's Valentine's day 2000 and Harm's isn't feeling very festive. Who can blame him?

X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X

Harm awoke to the annoying sound of his alarm clock and even more annoying local radio station DJ, screaming at him to get up.

The DJ's _very_ vocal and _very _annoying repeating that it's Valentine's had Harm slap the clock into silence even harder.

"Yeah, yeah, happy stupid Valentine's to you too, moron." Harm muttered to himself as he threw back the covers and sat up.

* * *

Everything went wrong for Harm that day.

First he cut himself shaving, for the first time since the Academy, almost slitting his own throat. Then he somehow managed to improperly grip his toothbrush and it was catapulted into the toilet. He had to put the toothpaste on his finger to clean his teeth.

Then he burned his toast. The next toast he made fell, butter facing down, onto the floor. When he reached for the third piece, thinking of the adage of things always going well on the third try, he discovered he had no more toast. With no more time left it meant he had to go hungry to work.

The lift was broken. Again.

The Lexus had a flat tire and the Vette's roof had a tear somewhere that kept letting in the cold air. It was a cold February...

Not only that, but the Vette was almost out of fuel and, when he stopped the refuel, the inside of the gas-station store was decorated with pink hearts and balloons to sickening levels. He could swear he felt nauseous from the over-abundance of pink.

He managed to hit every single red light on his way and was stopped by cops because his 'Vette fit the description of a stolen one. When they were finally done with the inspection and Harm pulled away the Vette's exhaust backfired, scaring the already-twitchy-fingered copper into pulling out his gun and almost shooting Harm.

Upon arriving at JAG there was a new guard at the ramp who insisted on checking Harm's car for any explosive devices. Thoroughly.

'A by-the-book Marine, great, just what I need... They should just can these damn Jarheads into cans and put a label on it -Warning! Open only in case of war-.' Harm groused to himself as he scaled the stairs. The lift was, naturally, broken here too. Naturally there was a large crowd coming down the stairs so he had to literally fight his way up. Just as there are no ranks in the bedroom there aren't any in the stairwell.

Instead of being 15 minutes early, like he usually was, he was 30 minutes late.

To make matters worse the moment he entered the bullpen the first thing he saw was Mac scrutinizing her ring and talking on the phone with a sappy expression on her face.

' I sooooooooo don't need this right now.'

He turned and wanted to head to his office when he bumped into Harriet, beaming at him with a glowing face.

"Happy Valentine's, Commander!"

After a morning filled with everything going wrong for him it was Harriet's greeting that finally made him snap.

He looked at her and with a perfect, unintentional imitation of Michael Caine from 'The Muppet Christmas Carol' growled "Bah. Humbug!" and entered his office, leaving Harriet standing there with her mouth gaping open.

* * *

Then suddenly Harriet remembered why this V-day wasn't so happy for Harm and she slapped her forehead.

' Damn, how could I forget? She is sitting right there, looking at that stupid ring, with that stupid grin on her face and talking to that stupid moron over the stupid phone, and I completely forgot about her. Poor Commander, I wonder what can I do to make him feel better?'

Just then LT Loren Singer, an officer recently having been transferred in, entered the bullpen with the air of someone still feeling like an outsider. Not only were people not reaching out to her, but to make matters worse she didn't even try to make friends and had an air about her that made it clear to others she liked it that way. What people didn't know was that it was a defence mechanism, developed by someone who had been repeatedly hurt by people she cared about and this way she made sure no-one could get close enough to hurt her again.

Harriet caught sight of her immediately and positioned herself so Loren had to pass by on her way to her office. If she couldn't make Harm's morning a little nicer, she could at least try with Singer.

Loren nodded at Harriet as she tried to pass her, but was ambushed by Harriet's cheerful "Happy Valentine's, LT!"

Loren froze in her spot and with a heavy scowl turned to Harriet and spat "Yeah, right. This stupid day is just an invention of cards and flowers industry for the sole purpose of making money. If you ask me, they should just get rid of it."

Loren then turned and left, leaving Harriet in the dust.

Harriet growled in frustration over her co-workers' mood ' I have never seen two people less romantic than these two. Okay, the Commander has a very good reason, but the LT doesn't! '

The romance-loving LTJG had no idea just how wrong she was about Singer. Returning to her desk she thought about it for a while and inspiration soon struck.

' That's it! What these two Scrooges need is a healthy dose of love! And I'm just the right matchmaker for the job. Now, how to go about it? '

' Well, I can't trick each of them into agreeing to a blind date with a ' friend ' of mine, because I don't know Singer that well. Besides, she'd probably rip me a new one... The Commander would perhaps agree to it, but not very likely. Getting them both into a lift and causing it to stall is out of the question. First off, it's already broken and I would definitely be court martialled for tampering with the elevator and second, I don't think that would work. Both of them are very professional and would definitely not do anything at their work place, like in the lift. No, I've got to soften them up somehow instead of going for the frontal assault.'

But nothing came immediately to mind and Harriet's shoulders slumped in defeat. She decided to wait to see if anything popped up later and got back to work.

* * *

During the next two hours no good idea occurred to Harriet. But then, watching one of her female co-workers receive flowers by courier and the joy they caused her, she got an idea.

' I know! Cards. Anonymous admirers. Flowers. I'll just make them think they have admirers and that it's the other person.'

Looking around wildly she spotted her husband and quickly, ignoring his panicked look, dragged him into the break room.

"Harriet, you know what the Admiral said about not sending chaperons after us!" he hissed to her, trying to escape.

"Oh, Bud, stop for a second and listen."

She quickly explained her plan to him, but to her great consternation he wasn't as enthusiastic as she'd hoped for.

"Flowers? For _Singer_?" Bud's look went beyond skeptic.

"Trust me, Bud, _every _woman loves flowers. Not necessarily roses, they're so overused they've become cliche, but the type of flowers depends on the woman and there's not a woman who doesn't love them."

Bud made a mental note to get some other flowers rather than roses on the way home. That didn't mean he'd run out of objections, however.

"Think about this, Honey: who are you to decide who's right for either of them? The CDR's with Miss Petersen and we all know he's in love with LtCol MacKenzie. While LT Singer is single by her own choice. Unless they ask for your help, you have no right to get involved into their love lives."

That stopped her for a second and she had to give it a thought. Yet, in the end she had an answer ready "Bud, if Miss Petersen was making him happy he wouldn't be so miserable. And the LtCol will NEVER be the woman to make him happy, she doesn't care to and she's found someone else. As for Singer... well, if this works we'll all profit, her coworkers, opposite attorneys in trials, the accused, etc., not only they, because if they start dating the CDR will definitely teach her that truth and justice is more important than winning. Besides, it's not as if I'm gonna drug them and force them into something. I'll just give them a little push in the right direction and if they take the hint it'll be of their own free will." her eyes were shining at the end of her rant, visions of rings and baby-carriages firmly in her mind.

"No, Harriet, I'm not gonna..." Bud started, but his wife cut him off sternly.

"Bud Roberts, you will help me get LT and CDR together or, so help me god, you'll be spending the rest of the month on the couch and the only thing that will come even near your little Bud will be your own hand!"

Bud blanched. That was just too underhanded, to blackmail him into helping her by with-holding these essential privileges from him. With a shudder he remembered the nights before he'd met Harriet, when his only sexual release had come from manual labor and x-rated videos. He'd do anything not to have to go back to that. Besides, that couch was lumpy.

"Okay." he gave in.

And so the two eager Cupids (well, one not so much) got to work.

* * *

An hour later a beautiful bouquet of wildflowers arrived and a bewildered LT Singer had to sign for it. Since Harriet had not shared her plan with anyone the surprise was shared by everyone in the office who couldn't believe anyone at all could be interested in the ambitious Lieutenant. Looking through the blinds into the bullpen suspiciously she obviously thought someone was playing a joke on her, but seeing the sincere confused expressions she had to conceded the flowers weren't a joke.

Quickly she closed the door and the blinds before turning to the flowers sitting on her desk. Giving in to the girl hidden deep inside she buried her face in them and inhaled deeply, almost melting at the intoxicating fragrance. She always _had_ loved wildflowers the best.

Looking around for the card she was sure she'd find her efforts were immediately rewarded. Flipping it open her eyes widened at the words written on the small piece of carton: _You may not be a liar, but you sure are a thief, because you definitely stole my attention._

At the lower end of the card was the name of a restaurant and a time. Her mind raced as she tried to identify her secret admirer and then stopping, along with her heart, when the answer hit her.

Still under the effect of her discovery she went to the window and carefully peeked through the blinds, trying to locate the only man who could've done this, before remembering he'd been sent to Norfok hours ago.

That clinched it, it HAD TO be him. He had the means (plenty of money to be able to afford a bouquet on the expensive V-day), the motive (well... supposedly...) and the opportunity (he'd been away for hours so he could've easily have ordered them).

The question was: was she willing to risk her heart again? Every person she'd cared about had broken her heart, starting with her parents. She knew it was far from healthy, but she hadn't looked at men again after her first boyfriend had cheated on her with her best friend. Back then she'd still been a good, sensitive and caring young girl, with high hopes and a heart full of love for the boy she'd believed to be _the one_, the one she'd give herself to when the time felt right.

She'd simply been too sensitive and after she'd found her boyfriend under the bleechers with her friend her heart had never recovered, it had turned to stone that day. Pete had turned her into the cold bitch she was today, interested only in success, no matter the cost to others. After the discovery at the football field she hadn't been capable and willing of trusting men at all, even though many had been interested in her, always unwilling to put her heart into their hands.

What would she do?

She was 13 years older, had been alone and lonely all this time, but secretly her heart still yearned for someone to share her life with. She didn't want to die alone after a lonely life.

But, from what she knew, the CDR was dating someone, making him sound exactly the type she always avoided. Still, she'd come to know him a bit and he was the textbook for integrity and personal honor. He wouldn't be doing this if he was with someone else, would he?

* * *

Covertly observing the beautiful blond Lieutenant, Harriet secretly grinned at the woman's dazed expression. She knew she'd been a bit too blunt by using the words she'd overheard Singer say to Rabb one evening at JAG, but Loren needed the time to think about things and look at the CDR in a new light, to ponder whether he was a potential partner material or not. Only time would tell.

* * *

When Harm returned home he found a notice by the post office that he had a package waiting. Since he was still dressed he went to pick it up, refraining from opening it before he was home.

When he finally did, he could only stare befuddled at the small, fluffy bear dressed up as a WWI pilot, complete with the gogles, leather cap and the long, white shawl. The bear was holding a sign saying _'You flew away with my heart.'_

Lower down on the sign was the name of a restaurant and a time, set for next evening.

Harm set the bear down and went to change his clothes, thinking about who it could be. It certainly wasn't Mac and Harriet was definitely out, nor any of the enlisted personnel. Narrowing the list down further he could think of only one female officer who was still single. But it couldn't be... Could it?

Well, whoever it was, he would find out the next day.

* * *

The working hours of February 15th dragged on by for the two targets of a matchmaking scheme as they tried to avoid each other, neither of them with no clue what to say to the other.

Then it was finally time to secure for the day and Loren practically ran from the building.

It was 5 to 2000 hours when Harm got out the car in front of the La Guardia restaurant and his eyes fell on what looked like LT Singer. But it wasn't a LT Singer he knew. This woman looked like Loren, but she definitely wasn't wearing a uniform and her feminine beauty took his breath away.

Steeling himself he approached her and smiled, hardly believing he could be so nervous.

"Hey." he greeted softly "I got your message."

Loren smiled in greeting, but then her clear forehead was suddenly marred by a frown "What do you mean, my message? _You _sent _me _a message."

That stopped them both in their tracks and after a second Harm groaned.

"I smell a rat. And that rat smells of baby powder and matchmaking."

Loren started feeling sick. This was all some stupid joke by that annoying Junior Grade!? "You mean to say what it says in the card isn't true?"

"Card? What card?" Harm frowned.

"The one I got with the flowers you supposedly sent me yesterday." Loren was finding out once again that disappointments hurt.

"I didn't send you any card." he replied and motioned with his hand "Can I take a look?"

Loren gave up the card that had had the magic to fill her heart with hope for the first time in so long, only to then oblitterate that hope along with what was left of her heart.

Harm read the short note silently and then tapped it against his other hand thoghtfully. There was a lot to consider, what to say, what the consequences would be, was he willing to pay the fallout of either hurting her or making a go for it,... Thinking back to that day at the Sydney airport he knew he had the answer, Mac wasn't the one capable of making him happy, only miserable.

Right that second in time, on the sidewalk in front of an expensive restaurant, he did what Mac had wanted of him: he let go. But, contrary to Mac's demand, he let got of HER.

"No, I didn't write this." Loren's face fell even further and she started to turn away to hide the tears when his hand stopped her "But..."

Hope started to grow in Loren's baby-blues again "Does that mean they're still true?"

Out of habit Harm fell back into the rope-pulling he and Mac always did, handing over the sign the bear had carried "What about my note? Do you mean what is says?"

"I asked you first." she reminded him, not even bothering to read the note, having a vague clue what it said.

"I ask..." that was when he realized what he was doing and he cursed himself for falling back into that old pit again. Looking up into the air he swore "Damn it! No, I'm not playing this stupid game with you too."

With that he lowered his stormy aquamarines back to the beautiful woman before him who looked a little freaked out by his outburst "Yes, even though I didn't write them they're still true, Loren. You've definitely caught my attention."

"What about the woman you're dating... that film director?" suspicion still lived in Loren's eyes "If you're trying to two-time I wouldn't advise it."

Harm blinked. Well, she had good reason to ask. Best to make things clear ASAP "We only went out a couple of times and that was before the case in Australia, we haven't seen each other since."

Loren's smile of relief was watery, but powerful, her inner beauty shining through and almost blinding Harm "Then I mean them too."

There was really nothing else to do. Slowly they closed the distance before their lips met in a tentative, getting-to-know-each-other kiss. It ended soon, neither ready for anything more powerful, longer or steamier.

"So, uh... what do you say we take this slowly? Have some dinner and just talk, get to know each other better? I don't want to rush this and pay for it later."

"Okay." she nodded, taking his elbow when he offered.

Entering the restaurant they made the first step towards a life together.

THE END

**Reviews are love, give me lots of love!**


End file.
